well.. i'm 19yrs old. i was in this really serious relationship with a guy till last july.. the relationship lasted 10 months and we broke up because he couldn't trust me enough and was insecure... like really insecure! but he meant the world to me and i was ready to do everything for him but he never realized that. so we broke up (like officially) but we decided to remain best friends... so we were together most of the times and well our physical closeness wasn't disturbed by the break.. the action was still the same! but then , in september, one day i got really drunk n hooked up with his best friend. well both me and that guy were really drunk and out of our senses. but we told him everything the very next morning as soon as we were sober. he was really pissed for a week or so. didn't speak to either of us. actually he didn't speak to anyone at all. would just go to college. come back n lock himself up in his room. and well, after a some 10 days and one drunken episode were he hit his friend and called me and abused me over the phone, things got back to normal and we were back to how we used to be. the sex was on again. but then our issues increased. he was still insecure. probably even more than earlier. we were still not dating. we started having horrible fights. he would hit me and stuff. i would cut myself. lots of drama. so then later, like in january or february , i broke all contact with him because the relationship was ruining my life and i was losing my mental stability staying around that crazed person. whom i still loved deep down but had made this cocoon of hate to protect myself. i cried for a fortnight or so... and then i picked myself up and thought of getting a rebound guy. the rebound guy made it worse. he made me miss my ex even more. so i dumped the rebound guy... then i had gone for this 3 day long inter college competition. over there i got really drunk and hooked up with a guy and nearly hooked up with another. but then i got back and those guys weren't from my college but i'm still in touch with the second one. just casual flirting and pulling each other's leg and all. anyways so that must have happened in the beginning of april or something. and now it's may. and again on friday night i hooked up with another one of my ex (the guy with whom i've got that big huge past) 's friends... this guy used to be his house mate and are quite close. and well i've known this guy ever since i knew my ex... and dis new guy has had a sort of a brief past with three of my friends 2 of whom i had a fight with and one left town. so we hooked up. and well... things almost reached 4th base on the very first date. and it wasn't even like we were really drunk or anything. we both knew what we were doing. but now i don't know what's going to happen next. well he texts me sometimes... lyk once a day and well this guy has never really officially dated any girl ever. but to me he doesn't seem like a typical jerk.i would like to have something casual with him but i don't know whether it'll be morally correct because it might be really weird for my ex. and also i went on a couple of dates with another one of their friends. some three dates over 4 months. but nothing happened with that guy. we didn't even kiss! so i don't know. i feel sort of weird because i feel that people will tag me as the bitch / whore / friend-stealer. i want to avoid that but then i don't want to lose out on the great time i can have with this guy. he's cute. and i'm sort of into him! besides we've been flirting and nearly-hooking-up since january (before me and my ex broke all ties) and therfore my ex sort of had an idea that things might happen. anyways. i don't really know what i should do in my situation and what i should expect from others. i don't want to land up in a mess like last time! HELP!
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well.. i'm 19yrs old. i was in this really serious relationship with a guy till last july.. the relationship lasted 10 months and we broke up because he couldn't trust me enough and was insecure... like really insecure! but he meant the world to me and i was ready to do everything for him but he never realized that. so we broke up (like officially) but we decided to remain best friends... so we were together most of the times and well our physical closeness wasn't disturbed by the break.. the action was still the same! but then , in september, one day i got really drunk n hooked up with his best friend. well both me and that guy were really drunk and out of our senses. but we told him everything the very next morning as soon as we were sober. he was really pissed for a week or so. didn't speak to either of us. actually he didn't speak to anyone at all. would just go to college. come back n lock himself up in his room. and well, after a some 10 days and one drunken episode were he hit his friend and called me and abused me over the phone, things got back to normal and we were back to how we used to be. the sex was on again. but then our issues increased. he was still insecure. probably even more than earlier. we were still not dating. we started having horrible fights. he would hit me and stuff. i would cut myself. lots of drama. so then later, like in january or february , i broke all contact with him because the relationship was ruining my life and i was losing my mental stability staying around that crazed person. whom i still loved deep down but had made this cocoon of hate to protect myself. i cried for a fortnight or so... and then i picked myself up and thought of getting a rebound guy. the rebound guy made it worse. he made me miss my ex even more. so i dumped the rebound guy... then i had gone for this 3 day long inter college competition. over there i got really drunk and hooked up with a guy and nearly hooked up with another. but then i got back and those guys weren't from my college but i'm still in touch with the second one. just casual flirting and pulling each other's leg and all. anyways so that must have happened in the beginning of april or something. and now it's may. and again on friday night i hooked up with another one of my ex (the guy with whom i've got that big huge past) 's friends... this guy used to be his house mate and are quite close. and well i've known this guy ever since i knew my ex... and dis new guy has had a sort of a brief past with three of my friends 2 of whom i had a fight with and one left town. so we hooked up. and well... things almost reached 4th base on the very first date. and it wasn't even like we were really drunk or anything. we both knew what we were doing. but now i don't know what's going to happen next. well he texts me sometimes... lyk once a day and well this guy has never really officially dated any girl ever. but to me he doesn't seem like a typical jerk.i would like to have something casual with him but i don't know whether it'll be morally correct because it might be really weird for my ex. and also i went on a couple of dates with another one of their friends. some three dates over 4 months. but nothing happened with that guy. we didn't even kiss! so i don't know. i feel sort of weird because i feel that people will tag me as the bitch / whore / friend-stealer. i want to avoid that but then i don't want to lose out on the great time i can have with this guy. he's cute. and i'm sort of into him! besides we've been flirting and nearly-hooking-up since january (before me and my ex broke all ties) and therfore my ex sort of had an idea that things might happen. anyways. i don't really know what i should do in my situation and what i should expect from others. i don't want to land up in a mess like last time! HELP!
P.S. - you can read my blog. i somewhat wrote about all this. but that not so much in detail.
dark-but-not-sinister.blogspot.com
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